About me
Let me introduce myself
I am the creator of The Outside Air – Outsider project. My name is Frank Goliszewski and the Outsider project is not just a concept, but my lifestyle, my whole being. Although it has its beginning, which I will get into in a moment, it is far from its end. I hope my passion will captivate you, my experiences will spark your interest, and you will be encouraged to join me on my adventure.
How did it all begin?
The path that led to the creation of The Outside Air was a winding and bumpy one. I had to take a step back and find answers to some fundamental questions about myself. Paradoxically, this turned out to be one of the most difficult tasks I have ever faced. Apparently, a lot of water had to “flow under the bridge” before I was ready to take an honest look at myself.
Caught in a spiral of lies
I grew up in a constant lie. I lied to everyone, my family, my friends, everyone I met and myself. In search of acceptance, I concealed my personality and many facts, presenting myself as others wanted to perceive me.
The consequences of this lifestyle were disastrous. As a young boy who should have been developing and building his personality on a solid foundation, I was so caught up in pretending to be someone I was not, forgotten that it was all a lie. I got confused. I was so convincing in it that I fooled myself. A bit like an addiction that starts innocently and gives a person the feeling that everything is under control, but the line is very thin and we don’t even know when we cross it, falling into the problem of lying to ourselves so deeply that nothing can be seen but the illusion.
Living in this bubble full of deception led me to serious psychological and developmental problems. At times, I was already close to risking my life due to bad choices, wrong decisions and addictions.
Loneliness is not necessarily a bad thing
I already knew that I was in a bad place and it was time to make a change. I managed to overcome the worst period through hard work and support from my parents. I owe it to them that I have gotten to where I am today. They instilled important values in me, they showed me beauty and love, but they also taught me discipline and the spirit of competition.
In order to be able to change and get out of my predicament, I had to cut myself off from everyone except my immediate family. I deleted my social media accounts and got rid of everything that could have pushed me back towards my old way of thinking, even if only for a moment. I knew that this would lead me back down the wrong path. This time allowed me to understand how important and valuable it is for me to spend time alone. I felt that I had the right to be alone, that being without colleagues and friends was not a bad thing and certainly not a reason for the shame I had previously felt for this reason. I realized and honestly felt that loneliness is a part of me and I felt very comfortable with it. It helped me maintain balance.
Save blank pages anew
Although I thought the worst was behind me, that the problems were over and everything would start to work out, I was very wrong. It wasn’t that simple.
I was a blank page, without identity or self-awareness. A page that had been “crumpled” quite badly by previous experiences. I felt like a wreck of man. The only thing I had was the newly found ability to spend time with myself. The second thing I found was a passion for sports. Although this passion had been inside me for as long as I could remember, it was then that I realized that it could help me and be my weapon in the fight for myself. Sports, including extreme sports, skateboarding, freestyle skiing, traveling, became my stepping stone. At that time, I did not yet understand that, apart from being a pleasant way of spending time, this direction would become more important than I could have imagined.
In search of myself
I searched, tried, tasted, wanted to understand myself and who I wanted to be. I felt that I wanted to atone for my repeated mistakes and wrongdoings by working hard and doing only constructive things. During this time, I even enrolled in several college courses. Although I didn’t manage to finish any of them, this stage allowed me to understand how important it is for me to devote valuable time to what interests me, instead of “filling” my free time with just anything. I discovered that I like to learn, which previously seemed absurd to me.
I liked learning, but in my own way, finding topics that interested me and searching for educational materials on my own. Such a discovery had a huge impact on me. It allowed me to radically change my view of myself. I started to perceive myself as someone who likes learning, acquiring knowledge, development and creativity.
Path to the inner self through music
Finally, I was struck by a revelation. I decided that I would become an electronic music producer. I was inspired by one of my favorite artists, after whose performance I started to wonder why I couldn’t do something so wonderful and magical? I promised myself that I would devote everything to become a musician.
It became my dream. I worked hard for about 7 years to make it come true. I studied days and nights. I got so deeply involved in this world that I completely lost myself in it. I had a nervous breakdown due to overwork and lack of sleep for a very long period of time. At the same time, I dropped out of university and worked full-time. Music, on the other hand, was my second job. There wasn’t enough time in the day for sleep, rest, let alone exercise and physical activity.
I wanted to be the best, perfect and make up for lost time. Although today I look at it in a completely different way and I know that this time was not wasted, after all, how could it be, if I sacrificed it for the sake of saving myself…?
Through music, I could express myself, create, I felt free. However, it was an illusion to believe that this was what I was looking for, and I quickly felt that something was still wrong. I couldn’t get rid of the thought that something was missing, something was “grinding” inside me, as if it wasn’t natural and consistent with me.
Making music was very emotional for me, I felt very connected to it, I created my own style and nurtured originality. However, the feeling of inner contradiction did not go away and I had the impression that I was starting to pretend again. Yet I definitely did not want to go back down that road.
With inner stubbornness in a feeling of loss
Despite feeling that I preferred peace and quiet, and that music didn’t suit me at all, the deep-rooted perseverance, strength and self-discipline that I had to develop to fight my addictions and myself kept me going down the chosen path. So I continued consistently, telling myself that this chaos was just bad thoughts and that I couldn’t give in to them.
Even though I tried to drown out every doubt, the thought of spending several hours a day in a room without sunlight and exercise kept bothering me. Something told me that it wasn’t right, that I was doing something wrong, wasting the beauty of life by spending it in front of a computer.
I started traveling, and I planned my trips so that I wouldn’t go crazy from sitting in the studio all the time. However, I took my work tool with me on each trip – my notebook. Sitting over the production during my trips, I had the feeling that it didn’t all add up. The awareness of being in a beautiful place clashed with the hours I spent in front of the screen. I no longer enjoyed creating music.
A twist of fate, sometimes chance rules your life
I started to do intensive sports trainings. It was another goal I set for myself to have a reason to get away from my PC. During one of these trainings, I seriously injured my right hand. As a consequence, I couldn’t work on my computer anymore.
What an irony! I had to give up working and only then did I realize that I could function without making music. I began to feel that maybe this was not my calling. I understood, although I had stubbornly believed the opposite, that I could live without it.
The world as seen through the lens
The puzzle pieces started to fall into place. Somehow, completely naturally and smoothly, memories came to mind of when I was a teenager and took lots of photos while traveling. I traveled a lot as a young boy and later as a teenager. I traveled with my parents and we saw a lot of the world together. I took my SLR camera with me on every trip and lost myself in taking photos and creating photo stories. I loved taking photos of nature and avoided portraits, taking photos of people and even taking photos of myself.
Everyone should find their place on earth
I felt it with my whole being – THIS IS IT! I have to travel, do sports, promote a healthy lifestyle and share it with people, showing my world through photos and videos.
Although it seems so simple and obvious, the journey to this realization was long and bumpy. It was so difficult for me to find myself and my place that I almost paid for this journey with my life.
Today, I can finally live my life exactly the way I want to, according to my values and following my own path. I can create, learn and explore new directions in video and photography, and feel completely at peace with myself. I am standing firmly on my own two feet and I know that I have reached my goal, even though this goal is actually just the beginning of a great adventure.
I know that everything happened for a reason and I don’t consider any of the moments in the past to be pointless. Even the knowledge of sound that I gained while working on music has its uses and is very useful to me when creating videos.
Get the most out
I intend to live a full life, drawing on my energy, immersing myself in creativity and feeling the excitement of adventure with every cell in my body. I want to enjoy and make the most of every moment, finding joy in the little things. Now I finally know and have no doubt that I am heading in the right direction. Everything I do is part of me. I am one hundred percent honest and even if I wanted to, I can no longer fool myself.
I hope to be able to inspire you, show you beauty and touch your hearts with interesting projects, nature and everything it has to offer.
Take a look at the world through my lens.
